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In Austin, Texas, my home base for over 30 years, Lance Armstrong is a GOD. He can do no wrong. Now, I can confess that I am...an Armstrong atheist! I don't like him...or even care about him.
Austin prides itself on its laid-back attitude. Most celebrities come and go here with little fanfare or even paparazzi coverage. Seeing Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullock about town is no big deal. With Matthew McConaughey, it's please put down that bongo and put on a shirt! Not so with Armstrong. His occasional visits are virtually trumpeted and widely covered by the local media.
Granted, Armstrong has accomplished much. What? Seven Tours de France crowns! And selling more than 70 million of that flimsy yellow Livestrong rubber bracelet that reportedly allowed $31 million to be spent last year on behalf of cancer patients.You can't just dismiss that, can you?
But the dark cloud of doping allegations has always seemed to hover over him. And now close associates are reportedly spilling the sordid details to the feds about his activities.
So, can I warm-up to the guy? No way. Probably because I'm old school. Maybe it was the way he left his Austin-based wife... after 3 kids. Or the way he dumped incredibly hot, splendid singer and former school teacher Sheryl Crow around the time her breast cancer diagnosis was revealed. It reminds me of that windbag Republican creep, Newt Gingrich, who reportedly informed his wife of their divorce...while she was undergoing cancer therapy. Yuck!
But what do I know? Armstrong is rich and has famous friends. And 2.6 million followers on Twitter. His mug seems displayed on every site I visit on the internet, hawking something, representing some corporation. Enough already.
So, I really did laugh out loud when, during cranky genius comedian George Carlin's last HBO performance, recorded shortly before his death, Carlin said something: like "I'm sick of that f##king Lance Armstrong. I hate seeing his f###king face." Me too, George. Me too.
FOR ARMSTRONG HUMOR, SEE THE ONION: http://www.theonion.com/articles/lance-armstrong-wants-to-tell-nation-something-but,17973/
FOR NYT FEATURE, SEE : http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/sports/cycling/22armstrong.html?ref=todayspaper&pagewanted=all
